Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
Do not assume an open show of empathy requires you to interact directly with your aggressors. It does not. If they engage you directly, sure... Go ahead.
I am suggesting though that we internally consider their potential points of view and honor them equally with our ow a d change ourselves accordingly.
The people who abused you have already judged you. They hold deeply seeded beliefs. Perhaps they require interaction with another who is mentally ill or maybe they experience it for themselves before they change. Focusing on their change is not the goal of my suggestion. Creating it within and radiating it is. We cannot control others. I don't expect all to agree with that. It is one idea of many, but I struggle to put much energy into all of the same strategies that fail continuously.
The beliefs you describe about the capabilities of others defeat your purpose before you begin. If you cannot believe that they hold the capacity for change, why do you expect them to change their beliefs about you? We can only create what we are willing to do first ourselves and believe is possible in others.
Consider the physics of the force you suggest. What does it do to bring people closer? What happens in your own mind when you feel forced to swallow a position that does not resonate? You instantly repel.
Imagine you are magnets. If you both are at a position of hate and distrust and belief change is impossible there can never be a meeting. The force will always repel. However, if you flip your polarity to acceptance, you can attract the other side. You can generate flow and change.
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For people who have overall and fundamentally "normal" human neurological capabilities, I completely agree 100% with everything you say. The problem is that there are, in fact, sociopaths and psychopaths--those who meet full criteria for antisocial personality disorder in their ranks. These folks have been carefully studied and it is clear from good fMRI studies, many of them now, that, when faced with experiencing the pain or emotion or suffering of other human beings, their brains do not fire--at all. Nada. It is like showing them a photo of a chocolate bar--wait, no, people love chocolate. It is like showing a photo of a not cool-looking rock. The same neuorlogical response occurs. Nothing. Nothingn at all. Their brains do not have that capability, neurologically, anaatomically. Chemically. It just seems to be completely absent in these brains. For whatever neurodevelopmental reasons, genetic, environment, whatever.
Now, here is where it get s absolutely illuminating. If we show these same people images imagining their own personal suffering or pain or harm, their brains fire furiously. They are on fire! Why? Because their entire brain focus is on what? Themselves. They only care about their own, personal experiences. The experiences of other human beings do not even appear to occur in these brains. YTes, they can see with their eyes a person who is on fire, but there will be zero emotional response to that event. None. They are not capable.
So, for this type of Hitler, Pol Pot, in my personal opinion, also, Trump, individual, how do we "reach" them? Because, ultimately, they do have to change their behavior. We cannot have any more George Floyds in this country, or else, all this hyperbolic talk of civil war could well actually go down. So, they have to change, but they refuse to change. What I am saying is that, their not changing right now is not an option many of us in America are willing to accept anymore. There has been too much torture and too much murder.
Are you saying that if we simply model the right things, the right conduct, in our own lives, eventually, these neurological deficits in these individuals, some of whom run nations and police forces and armies and secret police and stuff, that they will somehow heal their broken brains? I wish I could see that, but it is difficult fo rme to do so. But, I am totally and completely open to learn new ways to thing and operate. I am probably missing a lot here.