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Sister: "I want to tell you something you said/wrote in email or something that hurt me and I wonder if I could tell you."
Me: "OK, what?"
Sister: You said XYZ and it's really MY problem because I took it wrong, but her's what you said/did. I know you didn't mean to hurt me."
Me: "I didn't realize I said that and I'm sorry. So let's drop it, okay?"
Sister: "You are making me invisible! I just want to tell you how it made me feel."
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Hm, see to me, you didn't validate her feelings. You claimed you
didn't realize, said "sorry" over something you don't recall, and then wanted to end the conversation.
"Sorry" is just a word. What exactly were you sorry about? To me, it sounded more like your way of ending the conversation because she addressed an unfavorable side of you. What she's needing is an understanding so it can be
prevented from happening again. If you don't acknowledge, there's no change.
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I do not value my relationship with my sister.
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.. which is why you may be struggling with empathizing with her. It's the root of it. Question is, why?
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I'm sorry that what I said/wrote hurt you, and you are right it was never my intention to hurt you. But I am not perfect, so let's just forget about it now. I'm sorry."
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"But" deletes everything prior to it, and then you followed up with wanting to "forget" about it. She's not wanting you to forget about it. She's wanting you to be
aware so you can be more mindful with how you interact with her.
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I've said or done something that hurt her poor feelings, and I owe it to her to listen to her tell me how painful my inadvertent deed is to her.
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Yikes. You seem so unaware about your own behaviours towards her. If you don't like her or have respect for her, there's a good probability your behaviours showcase that.. and you don't seem to care.
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I don't care how she feels, not to that extreme degree. She'd already said she knew I had no intention of hurting her, but my comment hurt her and she felt bad. That's enough!
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Where's the resolution? Is it enough to just say sorry.. or "ok.. got it" if it keeps happening again and again? I suspect her "rant" is more about her repeating herself because she's not getting the validation she's needing because you simply don't care.
So to answer your question, how do you get out of this mood? Well, if you feel like a failure, maybe it's because you're struggling with caring about your sister and her feelings. I'd start there and it's not a quick fix. I suspect she's bringing out something in you you're not liking about yourself and it's affecting your mood.