Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLady
It sounds to me like she's been having an emotional affair with you. Where is this 4-year boyfriend when you're both talking into the night? How old are you both?
I see it as a red flag. Even if she were to leave him for you, chances are she'd be unfaithful to you, too.
How is it that you just learned this after all this time? If she wasn't forthright about it from the beginning, she was purposely hiding it.
All my friends and colleagues (male/female) know I'm in a relationship. It's no secret. She made it one.
I'm sorry you're hurt, embarrassed, and angry. To take good advice would mean to disconnect from her completely. I know it's not what you're wanting but I truly believe it's time to move on.
You sound young. You will meet other women you'll fancy and have strong feelings for. Don't sell yourself short. Don't settle for a girl who gave you unlimited attention. It wasn't for the right reasons.
Sorry. This really sucks!
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I'm 24 and she's 22, I think. I guess the guy is okay with her taking to me. I asked her Why she didn't tell me earlier right after she told me, and she said "What's there to say about having a boyfriend? What's the big deal?" I can't exactly tell her that the Big Deal is that I wanted to be her boyfriend, now can I? Besides, it's only been six months since we've even started taking.
Now, she's a little more open with me about her boyfriend, and it makes my blood boil whenever I see that guy's name in my texts. So, at the very least, I'm hopeful that this was unintentional and she never saw me that way due to her having a boyfriend. But then again, maybe my judgement is clouded by thoughts of her. That's why I'm torn between staying her friend and disconnecting from her, like you said.
Today was much more painful. She sent me a picture of her with her little cousin brother, with his nickname being very close to her boyfriend's actual name. I lit up for about fifteen minutes thinking that she was playing me, and that she knew about me wanting to have a relationship with her. Then, she tells me that her cousin's name is something else other than the name of her boyfriend that she told me, and now I feel like an idiot... Again. It's like someone removed a band-aid over a fresh wound and then accidentally shot me in the same place they removed the band-aid.
I think you said it best... This Really Sucks!