yellow_fleurs, the term you used "poser" is a perfect choice for what you described. I have a tendency to "pose", too. It's especially a bad tendency if you do it in front of a pdoc or tdoc. It is really rough when it becomes a total surprise to others when you finally break down. So, I do relate to this, a lot.

bluebicycle, you certainly deserve a bit of vacation. My husband has been talking to his colleagues about how much they all want one, too. Are you still going into your workplace some or all of the hours? My husband has been working from home for ages, now. Hope you get some better sleep. I've been trying to think of some suggestion that might help. I take my Tegretol XR no later than 7 pm, and I'm fine with sleep, though I do take a hefty dose of Seroquel XR, too. Have you tried adjusting your evening dose timing? Maybe take it earlier?

Christina, thank you so much for your caring concern. You always have so much to give to others, even when you are struggling greatly. I hope your husband's health improves, shortly. When it does, you both deserve a nice vacation, as well. And I'm not thinking a long drive to Florida, unless that's what you'd actually want. I don't recall the place (Nashville?) but way back when you mentioned a vacation you and Steve took that was truly a real vacation. You need one of those big time, my friend!