I think it comes down to one's beliefs about judgment, victimhood and free will.

Imagine that all we experience comes from the same source. ALL of it, not just the parts you percieve to be good. Under that model it is entirely possible that the choices others make serve as great a purpose as those you make. Unique, but equal.

Looking at an isolated incident makes sense sometimes, but all isolations fit somewhere within the whole and as best I can tell there is a general trajectory over time of expansion. Its like we watch the same play and drama play out on greater and greater scales each time.

Now onto judgment and free will. It is my belief we are here to learn or at least we are presented with the option of doing so. Sometimes we learn from the hero role. Sometimes we learn as victims or victimizers. Sometimes we learn as children and other times as parents. Sometimes as patients. Other times as healers. We learn through destruction. It might require one person to dip into various roles to get a well rounded education. Others can simply learn through observation and stick with their specialty. Neither is right or wrong if we assume the goal is to learn and expand.

The inputs for any one individual are unique and they are on their own expansive trajectory. What might feel like insensitive and evil behavior to you might be a step toward love for someone who is in a much darker place. It is all relative and using a lens of relativity to look at what is happening helps me the most. It helps me step away from judgment and focus more on my own choice and what I am choosing to put forward.

There are people who know in their soul without a doubt the abuses we see are wrong. They want to scream and yell and force becsuse why the beck can't everyone else just see what is so obviously clear? For those people, maybe the expansion and learning opportunity lies within acceptance and allowance. This is the same lesson the super star student who judges his slower classmates is given the opportunity to learn. If he judges, he is rejected. If he approaches with love, compassion and allowance he is sometimes given an opportunity to tutor his classmate.

This does not mean anyone needs to tolerate abusive behavior, but perhaps some can grow in their ability to emanate that love you speak of even in the face of this horror show because they know dropping down to another frequency just fuels an already out of control fire.

As a parent I struggle with this all the time on a small scale when I see my children fight and especially when my oldest manipulates or uses physical strength against my youngest. When I shame the oldest or try to force change he rejects the lesson every single time. When I explode in anger, he rejects me. When I allow him to show his feelings, make his case and tell him it is ok to feel as he does, but it is possible to also see things another way and ask him if he is willing to discuss it together, he listens sometimes. He is especially open when I remind him I love him and accept him the same no matter what he chooses. Either way, he is getting time away on his own to think about it. I won't contribute to the behavior or passively allow it to continue in my presence.

That's how I feel I need to approach this. All of the people involved deserve my love and acceptance. They deserve my patience. If they are open to discussion of perspectives, great. If not, they can know I am not an enemy and I will do nothing to further their pain. Meanwhile, I will step in an shut down any open displays of abuse happening in my presence as best I can. I have no idea if that is right or wrong or enough, but it is what I feel is appropriate for me.