I knew you were going to be triggered with the looks thing. The reason I pointed it out (and you asked why I've pointed it out) is because it could explain why she's so insecure. People who know they can't compete with the looks can feel threatened by the other girls surrounding their partners, no? Is that a big deal? No. It's a fact.
I don't see things with judgement.
I see this behavior and I want to understand it.
I don't know what kind of issues these type of people have: I'm not asking to diagnose her childhood or life in particular.
Things are pretty much defined in psychology. Certain traits, certain behaviors match certain issues and even disorders. Say she displays signs of X. Fine. does that mean she IS X? No, but I can read more about X and see if it makes sense in this context. It's called studying people. It's not offensive. It would be offensive if I told you WHO she is and HOW she is.
I know it's an adult attachment problem. But I can't find articles about this particular kind of clinginess, because I don't know the names for it. I'm pretty sure there is a name for being extremely clingy with your child and from there I could understand what issues the person may have.
No, I didn't come here to find answers for the consequences on the child's development, because that I already know. As I said, that are plenty of articles and studies about it. All it takes is to google "clingy mother" and we get hundreds of results for the bad consequences it has on a child and how as a child you can cope with the clingy parents.
I'm looking for the names of the possible issues this INSECURITY have so I can read about it.
I'm sorry. You think it's healthy to cling and not let your child be alone for a second for 11 years? To not let him be with his cousins because YOU have an issue with yourself? It's not.
The firs couple of years? Fine. It's novelty, the child needs more help.
11 years? No. It's unhealthy. The kid needs to grow up and learn to be independent and have his own personality, not his mother on his back all the freaking time.
I know, parents today think it's healthy to be besties with their children and do everything with them. But it's not.
I'm looking for the names of these type of issues. That's all. Insecurity, adult attachment. These are two terms.
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