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bpcyclist
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Location: Portland
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Default Jun 08, 2020 at 11:24 AM
 
Very rough day for me yesterday. Quite down and blue, amotiavational, andhednoic. Barely able to get the most basic stuff done. Oh well. Wd do what we can do.

I am trying to work hard on being more positive and more accepting of reality. Trying harder not to judge myself. To look for the gifts, not the deficits or losses. For example, if I felt well enough to ride th ebike for even an hour or work on my books, it would really help me, but the part of the brain that governs motivation is just not functioning for me right now. At all.

All my academic and career success was driven by a fierce feeling that I was not good enough. You can get a lot done when You feel that way. But it is not a healthy mindset for me. So, I am trying to lose that. It is a process for me. Judging me is bad for me. I need to accept me, even when all I can do is just sit in my chair and try to make it past the next hour.

Love and hugs and support to all, especially those struggling. Stay with it. Things will turn around. Have faith, if you can.

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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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