I'm so sorry you feel so... uh... defeated? Is that an appropriate term? I do understand what you're feeling though. Of course, I'm old & that makes a difference. But I've been fighting my battles for so many years. I've finally just given up trying to make it better. And I've tried doing "what I should have done so long ago" a couple of times (without success obviously.) Anyway... I hope that, in your case, you might yet find a pouch of that fairy dust with your name on it out there somewhere. Please take care...