My cousin has three children, one of which has anxiety issues. He doesn’t look any different than others but there are some struggles. At parties either father or mother sit by him. It’s not because they are insecure or a show off, it’s because as parents they know what needs to be done.

That’s why I suggested you spend time with them to understand if there is abnormality or not. It could put your mind at ease.

Also it’s important to accept that people conduct their romantic relationships and family life in their own manner. Some people are more attached to their partners and some need more space and some are more involved parents and some aren’t as much. Neither way is abnormal (Minus abuse of course), just different.

We all build our family and romantic life the way we see fit or how we were brought up. You possibly conduct your romantic and family life differently and it’s ok. Maybe you like to share more on social media about your social life or hobbies etc and less about your partner and children. But this woman doesn’t to share stuff other than about her family. It’s not abnormal. Just different

Also beauty is in the eyes of beholder. It’s subjective. Clearly this man finds her appealing enough to have a child together and spend 11 plus years with her. You said she is a kind person and it says a lot. Looks fade. We get old. Kindness stays.