Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I think if I got married in my 40’s it would have been a my money/ his money, separate situation.
Getting married in my late 20’s (first marriage), it was an “our” money relationship. My husband earned it and I didn’t take advantage (very traditional house wife).
The separate money way is a sticky one. Plus, if he doesn’t have credit and makes less salary, how you work this out is really tricky.
His saying ‘we’ should buy this shows his thinking is the ‘our’ money way. I’m sure he wanted you to put it on your credit card. I feel for you if you have to tell him that he is to pay for his chair and save up the money. I’d expect more conflict to come from all this, for sure.
Obviously a serious discussion and plan is needed between you. You won’t let him max out your credit cards and put you into debt. He should understand and respect that. I’m not sure how it could all work easily as I’ve had no experience with this way.
Recently, my husband and I were grocery shopping and he wanted an item, but a similar one was BOGO, and I forced him to buy it instead. He was so mad, “Aren’t I worth it?” And I said, “Nobody is worth it. You don’t pass on a BOGO” lol. We’re that thrifty.
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Thanks, Tisha. I appreciate your thoughtful post!
Yes, my husband SHOULD appreciate AND respect my financial limits, which I have explained several times to him at this point in time. He knows I will not put additional items on my credit cards, he knows it's for emergency purposes only, and he knows my financial goals are to pay off my personal debt and start saving for retirement. Yet STILL he says "WE should buy this chair", which tells me he is NOT respecting my limits, STILL to this day, and despite ME being very emphatic about it.
He maintains his spoiled brat mentality and a dependent mentality that someone else should always be paying for whatever he needs. Well, that stops with ME, whether he likes it or not.
Yes, it will be a difficult conversation if and when it comes up again.