I am not a professional, but I myself struggle with ptsd and I went through stages and went through a period were I suffered from strong suicidal impulses. Fortunately, I came across someone that told me to pay attention in that the impulse does go away. So I paid attention and discovered this individual was right. It's important you see a trauma specialist that has experience working with trauma patients.

With good therapy you can get past this stage and learn how to better manage your ptsd symptoms.