Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I am sorry. Oh no I take it back then. I wasn’t thinking straight. I said “I” personally wouldn’t which makes me probably more selfish than many other people. There are people for whom it wouldn’t matter as long as the person is nice. We all have personal preferences.
Forget about what I said. I can ensure you that if you are stupid, so am I. And so are most people. If it’s not one thing then it’s another. I had functional alcoholic boyfriend whom i was sure I could make into a sober person. Yeah ok. I don’t think I am stupid. Just human
Things are only perfect in fairy tales. Plus you can work with what you have.
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Thank you for saying this.
At the time we became I engaged, I wrote in my journal that I had found the best man to marry. And I really felt that at the time. I hadn't seen all the issues yet in a clear and complete picture. At that time, he was the sweetest, most endearing and best person in my mind.
Three months later is when I started to have serious doubts. Five months later, I wrote in my journal that I was seeing some abuse, his spoiled mentality and me paying for more things and going into debt. Six months later, it sounded in my journal like I was "settling" for the best I felt I could get. I sounded like I was trying to convince myself to still marry him, despite my nagging feelings. It was three days before we were to leave for the wedding that he blew up at me demanding that I buy him a $300 pair of pants. And I felt it was too late to back out.
It took two years for me to see the full picture that I am seeing now. He didn't come out with his physical ailments all at once.... I didn't find out he has a degenerative spine condition until long after we were married, for example. And it took two years to see the patterns of various behaviors repeating themselves.
But several months before we married? I wrote that there were several RED FLAGS in my journal.
Wish I had stopped myself and I wish I had just been smarter.