After nearly a year of treatment and some psychological tests, I received something like a diagnosis. I remember "somewhere on the bipolar spectrum" and "mixed states".

Mixed states explain much of my life. Depression with frenzy activity, euphoria while thinking about my death, exhaustion and racing thoughts… Yes, it could be right. Especially the last year was full of it. It wasn't much bad, but it was endless. My longest stable period lasted about two weeks…

Random question: is it common that the strictly divided and crystal clear episodes change with time into such a horrible mess? Am I the only one?

I feel completely fine now. It's easy to think that I'm finally cured. I thought it about three months ago, but then another nice mixed episode came. Nevermind. My belief is stronger than reality.

What if my so called "problems" are just my character? Everybody has mood swings, right?

Does the diagnosis matter?