Dear indigo1015,

I have felt like that too, although not specifically about Denver. One of my best memories is of a time when I drove through the state of Colorado. I was going to see a play being performed in a city called "Snowmass-at-Aspen." I thought it was a very beautiful state. The memories of that time are still vivid. I only spent a couple of days in the city of Denver. The roadways did seem crowded if my memory hasn't failed me. I think I was more impressed with the more rural areas of Colorado though.

Since I am not in your shoes, I cannot really say anything about your feelings about human beings, but I imagine I would probably feel exactly as you do if I had your total life experiences. I have had both positive and negative experiences with my fellow human beings but in my case, mostly positive. I am really sorry that your experiences have been so awful. That is really heartbreaking.

I have been lucky to be able to live in other countries and I notice that in some countries a lot of people seem to be burdened with "having a chip of their shoulders." I don't know if you have experienced this or whether it is unique to me. So many people have a "could be better, but isn't better" attitude, almost like a default attitude: could be better, could be better, could be better, could be better. In some countries I have visited the people seem to have a different attitude: could be worse, but isn't worse. As a result they seem more at peace with themselves and others, more appreciative, more grateful . . . more . . . happy in the general way.

The people whose default attitude seems to be "could be better, but isn't better" seem to be prone to dissatisfaction, aggravation, anger, sadness, guilt and general distress. I guess it would be strange if the "could be better but isn't better" attitude didn't engender such feelings and moods. I imagine there is some biology involved in this. I kind of grew up with this default attitude myself so I am certainly not exempt from what I am talking about.

For awhile I have been trying to have a more "could be worse but isn't worse" attitude toward things and find that it gives me more peace of mind and more joy of living. Sometimes I do feel drawn to flee those who are stuck in the "could be better but isn't better" attitude. Since I feel that they are not even aware that they radiate this attitude and since I feel that they themselves are more victims than perpetrators of it, I don't generally have bad feelings towards them. And having been a big-time chip-on-one's shoulder person I am the last person to judge others. Sometimes, however, I do feel drawn to flee such people for my own sanity. So I think I can empathize with what you write about.

Hopefully many people here will see your post and respond with their own unique ideas and feelings. I wish you only the best.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen