That feeling of not wanting to exist? It is your addiction trying to convince you to use again. You addiction is trying to kill you. Don't let it.

PM me, if you need to talk. I am around all day. I have been right where you are ten million times. I got clean, have been clean forever. You can do this. But you cannot use today. Go for a walk, watch a show or movie, clean, do something, anything. Just do not sit around and do nothing. That is the worst thing.

Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!