Divine is right. Bringing up divorce is unhealthy. Sadly, I did this too countless times. I even actually did divorce him, but he pleaded with me not to, and I felt like I shouldn’t, so I called it off just before it finalized! (I’m in hell!). He never threatened leaving at any time. But, he never changed to meet my needs. So, the war rages on. Our issues did start around one year in, but I didn’t get emotional over them until around year 6.

You are only at year 1, and your issues started even before marrying. Also, you both are talking about divorce. I’m sure that I am still married because my husband does not want to be divorced. If he did, we’d be.

I see you have a lot of mixed emotions, and understandably so. There’s no need to do anything right now during pandemic.

My concerns now are about my own mental health and my situation with him. I’m seeing a psy who gave me serious meds and they don’t help with this situation. My question is: Am I MI and that’s why I can’t handle the issues in the marriage?, Am I not MI and just ‘made’ to act that way due to the frustration from the issues in the marriage? I need a good evaluation from ‘the best’ to give me peace of mind. Because if it’s me who’s the problem, I’ll eat crow and try to just be kind and keep the marriage.

I bring this up because I’d hate to see anyone else get driven to this point. I wonder if I had gotten out after a few years (with two kids), how my life would have gone. I certainly never thought I was MI until only recently.