Slept very restlessly again, but did sleep a bit overall, so, not too bad. Not restful, but, given my sleep history, I really cannot complain. I feel fine right now, but the pattern has been feeling pretty solid for about an hour and then, the bottom starts to fall out and I am in rough shape within two hours or so. So, maybe today will be better. I almost never lose hope for improvement, which does help me. They say it is faith, hope, and love, and that the greatest of these is,,, Well, you know. For me, personally, my version of that is not faith, but total and complete certainty, hope, and love. And I always have that, no matter how bad it gets.

I do really wonder if my overall, decades of mania in June and depression in Oct/Nov has just flipped. A I say, I got manic and psychotic in October of '19 and it only ended a few weeks ago. Now, this. So, Since OCtober, I have had about, I guess, maybe threeish weeks of pretty euthymic time. Not judging, but I wonder if this is just the new me. Time will tell.

Really hopeful I can either write or ride the bike today. I will try again. It is all I can do. Wrote just a page yesterday and I could not have been less engaged or interested. So weird. But at least I ws gentle with myself and did not use all that old, negative self-talk that fueled my career for so long. So, that is good, I think.

Did happen to find a show that, while really not at all very similar, is somewhat tangentially related to my novel story line. It is quite interesting to see how another writer approaches stories involving odd brain capabilities. Pretty cool show, actually. It is called Stitchers. I will feelly admit that 4.647% of the appeal is the staggering physical beauty and hilariousness of the quite socially bereft and off-putting lead, she ist just too funny, but, hey, I am just a single guy, so, you know...

Love and hugs to everyone struggling.