Instead of calling, I went for a quick and easy hike which helped me take my mind off of things and helped a little with my physical symptoms. I'll call later when my mood plummets again. Could be ten minutes from now, but maybe I'll make it to group before that happens. I'm worried they'll convince me to go IP. I need to be spending MORE time outside, not less.
I'm fairly certain that the drugs have exacerbated the negative feelings. Weed has helped with sleep and PTSD type symptoms until the dispensaries closed and I had to get it elsewhere where I didn't know what the hell I was getting (at the dispensaries you know what % THC and CBD/what strains you're getting, one of the reasons why I'm all for legalization), then all of a sudden after I switched it started making me anxious and awfully restless. The other stuff, especially the drinking, was definitely not good for my mental state.
I'm worried about sleep now though. Most of the stuff I was doing was sedating (because I couldn't sleep) and I have a feeling I won't be sleeping more than three hours a night.