I just had a very productive and affirming call with my therapist.

We talked a bit about my ex, who really did a number on my self esteem and who sent me into a serious state of self doubt for a very long time (ie, he triggered old childhood wounds in me).

The good news is: I came out of that state feeling much stronger and more resolute. The issues with my ex were HIS issues, and not a reflection on ME. Which is how initially I interpreted everything.

And so the conclusion today was that my self esteem will not be effected (or I will not allow it to be) by any of my husband's behaviors towards me. They are a reflection on HIM, his own insecurity and his own self hatred, vs a reflection on ME as a person.

This I came to by myself, but through the discussion I was having with my therapist. So, luckily, my self esteem does not depend on my husband, and neither does my sense of self worth.