My partner has been working through his DBT workbook. There are sticky notes in the bedroom that says,
Quote:
"Your intentions are good,"
"You're a good person,"
"The past is the past,"
"Don't look back,"
"Love yourself"
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I get it's part of the therapy he's using to "burn new pathways into the brain", as he says.. but reading them has been such a trigger for me! He's caused a lot of damage in our relationship .. with the covert abuse, financial infidelity, compulsive lying, the women issues, "secret social life", issues around boundaries, privacy, loyalty ... on and on it goes.. lets just now FORGET IT ALL!
It makes me angry.. truly. I'll definitely be talking about this with my new therapist.. the one I had to hire to deal with all this BS.. "Poor guy".. he just needs to "love himself".. what a victim.. him.. wtf.
He often tells me he's a "good person". His intentions are "good". He just wants people to "like him".. think he's "funny".. meanwhile he's taken our relationship to the ground because of it.
I'm angry at myself for not having the means to leave before it got to this level.. for making excuses for him and seeing the "good" in him. I'm angry for caring about him, for putting myself out there, for putting a gigantic dent in my finances for the good of our family.. for assuming he did have "good intentions".. gawd, stick a fork in me.
Not having a good couple of days.