My first depressive episode was when I was 21 a senior in college. The only reason I graduated was because some of my professors were kind and gave me extensions. Now twenty years later I can’t even count how many episodes I have had. They were sporadic at first then the **** hit the fan about 6 years ago. All the sudden meds stopped working and I used to never get side effects and now I get them with every med. They then decided I was bipolar when antidepressants made me worse. So now I have gotten so desperate I am considering taking clozapine.