When he's being endearing, adorable, affectionate and loving towards me, I want to stay, and the love is there for me. Like this morning. And when he's being an abusive or sexist a-hole, I want to leave and kick him to the curb.

But then when I look at the WHOLE picture of who he is and what he brings to the table, I get that nagging gut wrenching feeling that divorce is the only answer.

I feel really stuck in indecision. This SUCKS.

And I do feel chicken. I am admittedly scared. I am terrified of uprooting my entire life and going through a gut wrenching process of divorce. I am not prepared or ready emotionally OR financially to take that on.