I am with you all on the link between the episodes we experience and seizures. I looked into it heavily when researching a possible cause for my experience. My brain was on fire and it felt like I was short circuiting. There was also a popping sensation in my head and pressure near my brainstem in the days before everything went nuts.

When my mother got sick I remember telling my brother I thought her brain might be having a seizure. I had no idea what psychotic mania was at the time. Her doctor told me if we were to scan her brain it would look like someone who suffered from epilepsy.

The agression and psychosis described in this article pretty much sums it up. My onset of symptoms was acute. I went from zero to 100 in a day. I had been researching some very disturbing material for some volunteer work I was involved in and some childhood repressed trauma all came up at the same time. After that I had the weird sensations in my head and then bam. Insanity.

Postictal Psychosis: Common, Dangerous, and Treatable

As for stability, I am stable and have been for quite sometime. After I was brought out of my episode at the hospital I returned to 'normal' and none of the symptoms have returned. That all happened in the fall of 2018. I'm not on any meds at the moment and life is good. I'm processing the trauma of the episode as well as the trauma that came up just before it. That is tough sometimes, but nothing destabilizing.

My therapist thinks my bipolar diagnosis is incorrect. My pdoc agrees. My other pdoc said I had reactive psychosis. Nobody really knows for sure. My therapist also said last week I have OCD tendencies. She said I do not fit the classic mold, but I hyperfocus and she thinks maybe my obsession with my volunteer work set off a chain reaction that led to everything falling apart.

I'm not sure what to think. I do have some OCD like behaviors. I also have some behaviors that come up in Aspergers. I'm a mixed bag and every professional basically tells me I'm atypical.

So.... I'm just doing me. I am striving for holistic balance and I am trying my best to integrate my repressed trauma. I could have freaked out each time it came back up since my episode or ran from it but I think I would end back up in IP. For the sake of myself and my family, I'm facing it. With love.