It’s nice to know I’m not the only one this happens to. I’ve wondered whether it maybe partly due to me inability to make eye contact with my T. I spend the whole session actively avoiding eye contact and find myself staring intensely at whatever my hands maybe doing (often fiddling with my clothing or bag) or at something else in the room. There is a radiator next to me and I seem to often spend time counting the the little vents on it (5 rows of 8) when there is conversation going on, maybe if I was able to bring myself to make eye contact I would be less likely to experience these kind blanks.....I dunno.
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Originally Posted by Lostislost
Yes this happens to me. Or sometimes I will remember him saying something or myself answering, and I have no idea how we got to that point. I think he said it was dissociation, is that what they meant by shutting down? Either that we are talking about something traumatic so we are dissociating or maybe just overwhelmed with the pace of conversation. A part of you would still be there and could communicate with them.
Sometimes I feel extremely vulnerable in session because he's so present with me, I can feel myself starting to drift away, even though I don't want to.
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That’s a really good point about being overwhelmed I think that definitely has something to do with it. Also knowing T is so present may also be a factor. I think this probably links in with the reluctance to make eye contact. I probably find it a little intimidating and scary that all of the focus is on me. It’s an uncomfortable feeling.