Having read through all the thread I agree that your psychologist made mistakes that did not allow for the treatment with her to continue. Apparently it seems she couldn't hold proper boundaries and contain her own anxiety related to your potential suicide.

If you experience such a strong despair then you deserve to work with someone who can tolerate this despair without collapsing and also tolerate the potential that you might in fact succeed, whether on purpose or by accident. I sincerely hope that your current therapist is more able.