I phoned my therapist and left her a message.

I'm very unhappy and scared.

But at the same time, it's all good. Maybe I'm just freaking out. 1-2 weeks ago, I was on a schizophrenia facebook group and the owner was like "No one is better than anyone else" - I wrote a message in psychosis and I got banned without "without warning".

So I just think about people thinking they are better than others and it spirals down to uniqueness, people defining themselves by not getting better with schizophrenia, the fact that I think I can cure it - Due to my solipsism or optimism, the race thing and jordan peterson followers stating facts and people being held responsible for things that happened before they were born, the left, how it relates to creative genius and no common sense, people talking to me about things I don't agree with yet want to be their friend so I don't defend myself and instead keep the peace - Like how I was with my moms ex bf, her new bf's, the video chat people and my identity, not being able to reassure myself, the confusion, the high school conspiracy friend that deleted me for making fun of anti-vaxxers, me not giving a **** about vaccinations, making fun of the virus, swirling around a vortex of news and media and propaganda and wanting to read history books, not being taught science in school but having to learn about religion and irish history - It's all ****ed.