Omers, your T's blindness concerns me. I'm going to ramble on a bit about my T and me leaving my abusive home.

My T's favourite population is complex developmental trauma. She has had several clients in DV situations with family or partners.

She never pressured me to leave my abusive family because she knows it's not that easy or simple but has never pressured me to "fix things".

She has always held out the option to leave (including when I felt unable to leave) while respecting that I am doing my best even when I'm staying. Even when she has wished I'd just...get out. I was unable to leave for many years due to psychological and practical factors. Having a support network and a safe place to flee to was among the biggest things I needed, because I did not qualify for DV shelters.

Leaving can be among the most dangerous times in an abusive relationship. Especially since your H has gotten physical.

My T has been flexible, with coaching phone calls, sometimes email, including with her fees. While not tipping over into rescuing me or pushing me away. I often think that a lot of our work was about helping me heal from the historical and ongoing abuse, and helping me build the courage, resources, outside support and strength to leave.

She has also made mistakes. Eg I was staying passive and appeasing to be relatively safe, but she pushed me to be assertive and stand my ground. When I did so, things with my father escalated quickly. I was later advised by a DV org that I should have listened to my instinct to appease to stay safe. Eventually this year, just a few weeks ago, I managed to leave.

My point... I think your T is being very not flexible at all, and he's making it harder for you.