I am scared. I have been having dreams about divorce.

I figured out my personal financial situation. If I am extremely diligent and on my current salary, it will take me 8 months to save the money I need in order to move out -- which brings me to about Feb. IF I happen to land a Director level role between now and then, it will be far easier to save the money I need more quickly.

I've read up on the legal division of assets in my state:

"In general, the shorter the marriage, the more likely a court will be to try to put the parties back into roughly the same situations they were in prior to the marriage; in a very long marriage, the court is more likely to order a roughly equal distribution of property and to ensure that both spouses can maintain a standard of living similar to what they had during the marriage."

".. the judge can divide both marital and separate property. However, a court will usually, but not always, award separate property to the original owner in a divorce--separate property is property one spouse owns before marriage, or acquires by gift or inheritance during the marriage."

"It can sometimes be hard to determine what property is marital and what is separate. Marital and separate property can become mixed together—sometimes called “commingling.” A premarital bank account belonging to one spouse can become marital property if the other spouse makes deposits to it; a house owned by one spouse alone can become marital property if both spouses pay the mortgage or other expenses, or contribute to significant improvements. If spouses aren’t able to decide what belongs to whom, the judge will have to decide whether to treat any of the commingled property as premarital property belonging only to one spouse."

I really need and have to be able to keep ALL of my own belongings (furniture) and other apartment items that I brought TO the apartment separately AND that I purchased after we moved in together like tables, rugs, pictures and lamps, etc. That is all very important to me.
I need to consult with a lawyer and SOON. I am getting really anxious.

It is SO hard to be in this position. I want to be able to talk to my parents, but I have not completely made up my mind. I am dragging my heels. I want to let them into this. I think I want their help now, but I am scared.

I am just all around scared of what's to come. I am waffling. I am having a really hard time.