My instinct had the same response as whatever2013. I have struggled with this kind of issue on smaller scales with family members and in professional settings. It can be tough. Suggesting someone needs to change typically causes them to move further from your goal.

You've stood by while she has done some truly horrible things to you and it sounds like you've kept mostly quiet. Maybe that is the issue? When she treats you poorly and you do not respond she might be wondering 'why does he not rip me apart? When will the other shoe drop?' Maybe if you openly acknowledge her behavior as poor and that you clearly see it as such but you look past it for the welfare of your daughter, she might be less on guard?

In terms of books, I wish those experiencing this kind of behavior understood projection. I think it may help you as well. In essence, she is fearful. At the same time, she is whole and complete. She does not need to be 'fixed'. If you tell her you accept her as she is, but you percieve her reactions toward you to be inaccurate and you feel she is projecting, perhaps she will seek out the info on her own.

I have empathy for the fearful. I projected some very scary stuff onto my husband when I was sick. My heart is with those who project and they have my compassion. Sometimes our subconscious is working incredibly hard for us to 'see' something we need to learn and pushing it outward is our primal way of achieving that. The same happens when we experience psychosis. It is the product of our own fears.

https://frithluton.com/articles/projection/