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Originally Posted by bpcyclist
Yeah, thanks fern. Sadly, her mother is dying right now and I just don't think that me telling her I know she had an affair with the cop who terrorized me for two years and tried to kill me is likely to be met wiht encouraging results. But maybe I will feel differently tomorrow.
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Yeah, probably not. I'm sorry to hear about her mother. That must be difficult. Sorry you have been her punching bag.
I feel like we exchange information even when we don't speak it openly. I experience that a lot in group settings. We are all clarsentient to one degree or another. She probably knows you know. That perhaps triggers her even more. That's not on you though. You have every right to handle a betrayal like that however you see fit.
You can though just say you do not resonate with her accusations of you in the moment when she projects onto you. Saving the bigger issue for another time or maybe never ever seems wise. You can process that internally without her being a part of it. Your ability to move on is only dependent on her if you believe it is.
You're a really good guy. I hope one day she learns to value you instead of pushing on you like she does.