Rose, join a grief support group. There are specific ones for widows (which applies to you) or generic ones.

There are some on meetups in my area (probably resume after pandemics or some virtual), the rest you can find online for now, I sent you a link. Or PM your location to me and I’ll find some for you if you are too overwhelmed at the moment.

A friend of mine, a widow, made couple of good friends in widow support group. You’ll make friends and you’ll matter to them

When you feel better you can also volunteer. Doesn’t need to be anything strenuous. Soup kitchen. Food pantry. Etc etc When I volunteer at a homeless shelter (occasional) I noticed that several people know each other well. Seemed to be friends. They volunteer together on the same days and became friends

I know it’s hard to see it now but you will matter to people when they get to know you. You matter to us