Antidepressants kept me unstable for years. I'd go off meds and be temporarily better then I'd have an episode, usually mania which I thought was fine but usually resulted in my moving, uprooting my life or at the very least in broken relationships. Then the depression would hit and I'd seek help for that which was antidepressants and then mixed episodes resulting in many hospitals. Finally during one of my off med times I had a very good T who help stabilize me and when I become manic she pointed it out. When I sought a pdoc tho I put lots of restrictions on what meds I'd take and it didn't work. I got very depressed and went to an emergency psych department and told the pdoc everything and he put me on a AP and told me no more antidepressants. I've been stable since. But also I have a very low stress life. Some would say boring but it works.
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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