Thank you all for your support. I appreciate and so admire your progress splitimage; it's nice to hear a positive outcome developing. I just really am a loser. I've had losts of opportunities I could have done so much more with, I've let my personal life deteriorate to the point where I have very little social support, I've given up my livelihood because I'm too stupid to think anymore, etc. Probably way too many of you have experienced the same, which just makes me feel so much WORSE. Why are there so many of us? I've had the nicest T, my first ever and I'm old, for about a year. I just cannot get the hang of trusting him or anyone, really. That's why I never tried before. When I grew up, secrecy was a family oath. Over 30 years of depression and I could never talk to anyone about it. AWWW - sorry for whining yet again. But, thanks so for your support.