Hi Fugitive, It's really nice to meet you.

Almost everyone feels like it would be hard (or impossible) to open up to a mental health professional at the first visit. The thing is, that's their job. That's what they are trained to do. They will gently ask you about what brings you to see them...they know how to help you discuss your life. In my experience, this is especially true of therapists (psychiatrists usually are the "medication people").

Believe me when I say that you will not be wasting anyone's time when you reach out for help, just as you've done here. And if you feel like you are wasting their time - well, that is certainly something to tell them, and discuss with them.

You sound like an intelligent, sensitive person. You sound like a person I would be friends with, if I was your age.

This forum is truly a supportive place and a place where you will be heard. One suggestion I have is for you to check out the Teen Board. Who knows, there might be others there who are in a similar position as you are.

I wish you all the best. Please look into getting therapy, and I hope you'll continue posting on PC