thank you everyone for all the good advice.. its funny how just a few words from people on the internet, whom i dont know...can make me feel so much better.. mostly because i know that im not alone..
i will call the doctors today..ask about email, and make a appointment on a day someone can come with me... i will start to write things down a head of time and follow thru with that...

I feel like im trapped in a really ugly snow globe, that everyone stares at but no one wants to shake...