I had the most amazing bighearted therapist that I felt comfortable opening up to and telling all of my childhood trauma, but she terminated me when I did suicidal planning, which still kills me.

Anyhow, I have a therapist, but I can't open up to her at all. She's very nice, but a small percentage of people have what I would call a beaming big heart that I'm searching for. Does anyone of such a therapist in California or how I can find one? Has to be female because I was tortured by males in childhood. Her office doesn't have to be by me so long as she offers video therapy over the Internet. Thanks!