Thank you bpcyclist, wander and wild coyote. I know you’re 100% right that I needed to call my pdoc/t right then and there. I didn’t. I didn’t even text my t to get in tomorrow instead of tues. I just don’t want my husband and mom knowing what I’m thinking. Even if I think I’m making sense, I know they will think I’m crazy and restrict so much. It inevitably happens. Yes, my husband already has my keys and wouldn’t even let me drive around the corner to my parent’s house. I think I acted pretty normal all day ...maybe giddy and extra hyper, but not blatantly manic. But boy, those thoughts were insane. Now, the pictures from Perdido Key 8 years ago (when I had my massive psychotic break) are showing up on my timeline and I am LONGING for the beach. My body is craving the majesty of the ocean and boy am I thinking of heading back there. My thoughts and desires and plans are all over the place. Right now I’m drugged up with Seroquel and Klonapin and my eyes are so tired but my body says to get up and exercise. I’m pretty sure sleep will win over though. I’m trying to pan out everything I want to say to my t on tues. I usually tell her everything but I’m not sure I’ve seen her during a time when my thoughts sound so insane (maybe I have and am forgetting, not sure) and I know she’ll think I’m crazy and I’m very, very afraid of what could happen.