My Support Forums - View Single Post - do you cover your SH scars when you see your T?

The_little_didgee · Jun 15, 2020, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 0Smile0

SH scars were a massive source of shame for me. It's only been in the last couple of summers I have shown my arms willingly and even now it makes me self conscious depending on who I am around. Family will never see my arms.

My therapists have never really asked me about it although I haven't self harmed in years so it's not an immediate risk. But I also feel weird about them and showing them to professionals. I think I still don't understand them or why I did it the times I have done it more recently rather then a teenager (and we are talking about five years) I know why but as a teenager I just can't connect because it was partly because my friends were doing it. It was so weird.

I relate to this a lot.

I haven't self-harmed, since I was a teenager. It has been 22 years. I vowed, that I would never do it again. So far I have kept my word.

No one knows except for a few people. I refuse to wear short sleeves in public and around my family especially my mother.

I'm looking into getting them covered up. I cannot stand looking at them, because they remind me of a terrible time in my life. Plus they imply certain things that don't apply to me whenever a clinician sees them.

I did this because it was a social contagion. At that time I was vulnerable and impressionable. It seemed to have compensated for my poor communication skills.

Violating my body in this way is my biggest regret in life. I cannot seem to get past it. I wish, I had a dermal regenerator like they do in Star Trek.