Wasn’t he supposed to buy a chair? Why is he spending on bracelets? At least he didn’t ask for your credit card to buy you a gift.

What’s on your compatibility list?

Is it like meaningful stuff and major values or things like we both like the same tv shows of eggs for breakfast (just an example)?

I once dated a guy who had no books in his house (and not because he had them all digitally which is common nowadays). I know it’s probably silly but it was bad enough for me to end it.

Having said that, some things matter and some don’t and some are deal breakers and some aren’t.

I have one quite major difference with my husband that would be a deal breaker for many. It’s a big difference and it does bother me a bit (doesn’t bother him). It’s a political views difference. I am quite left of center and his is leaning to the right. It bothers me and it does create disconnect for me at times. I have to live with it. I have learned to leave it alone. I can’t make our house into a political debate arena. It is what it is. I wish we had the same views but I have to make do with what is.

Then we have a difference that is major generally speaking but it’s not an issue and doesn’t bother us. We don’t share the same religion. But that’s fine because we are respectful of each other faith and it’s not like we are crazy religious or plan on raising children or our religions contradict each other, most values are the same.. So it’s kind of a big difference but not for us, it’s not an issue for us at all.

We all have different non negotiable and deal breakers. Ideal person doesn’t exist. It depends what are your non negotiables. I have a very clear list of deal breakers.