Hi guys, not sure if i'm writing for advice or just to spill it out.
I've been having a crush on a coworker since Novembet - and that coworker was not single back them. So I distanced myself and went out with other people; got distracted. Had a fling and was switching attention to other things, although being back at work would reignite my feelings.

However, right before the quarantine started , that coworker broke up with her partner and ended up leaving back to her homecountry. Upon knowing that I let her know that I've liked her more than a friend for a while - it felt safe since we didn't have to work together anymore + she was finally single. She responded kindly saying that she thought about it too and was afraid that I found her annoying. We continued texting through out the quarantine and sometimes she'd get super flirty with me but made it clear that she isn't thinking about relationships right now. I felt very confused about this connection; plus she was not going to go back to the country I'm currently in. And I definitely felt like even though she's interested, she's not in love with me ...

I kept the connection going - well, she'd often be the one to text first, so we both did - and today she mentioned she now ahs a partner again. I felt so devastated yet somehow, set free? I decided to cut this person off as much as it is possible - there still might be work-related things to deal with and I want to stay polite - but I just feel so confused about this whole situation!

Like, why say someone who're into them, support them , write everyday , flirt , express you don't wanna relationship and then let me know you're seeing someone?
Honestly as I write this, I start wondering if this is some sort of mind game or if I was a source of validation in some way. **** this. I also didn't quite enjoy the dynamics of our communication but kept hoping she'll figure things out emotionally and find a way to me. Show me some love. That was delusional of me haha.

*if you have an advice or can relate - please commect! <3
All the best,
WTH