I accidentally sent my T's friend a Facebook friend request which I cancelled within seconds. Then I blocked her and temporarily deactivated my account. I plan to buy a plane ticket and move to the other side of the world but not before throwing my laptop into a very deep lake first.

In all seriousness, I feel bad for shopping, I think it's lockdown boredom and missing seeing him in person. I was on his FB profile and had a quick look at his friends for no reason other than curiosity. Then I accidentally clicked on "add friend" and started having palpitations.

How likely is it that his friend will get a friend request notification from me if my account is deactivated and she is blocked? And if she does (maybe her email notifications are switched on) it's unlikely that she will make the connection between T and I. I hope?

I'm scared he'll find out and chuck me out of therapy for this. The snooping wasn't a mistake, but the friend request was! I'm an idiot.