In spite that I have a pain and a bruise in my arm, I'm not scared of him. Obviously, you never know how a person is gonna react when you face to him with a separation but I don't have any other choice.
There were moments when I thought we can fix things up and spend the rest of our lives together because we didn't begin to be together yesterday or neither a year ago...we've been together for 18 years.

I recognise that he didn't always give me the best treat and I'm a very careful and affectionable person. I noticed it and I went little by little much colder each day and building my world apart. Never dared to break my dependency however and this is has to do directly with my psychological issues, me, being a person full of fears, especially, fears to function socially as a normal person and with big dependency on others.

Today, however, things are very different in my life for several reasons. Not in the sense that I progressed a lot in my issues, wished I could say that, in the sense that I don't count with the social support I had in the past. It's my fault but I prefer it like that. I only want with me people I feel comfortable with and I see worthy. I rather be alone as much scary as this situation of being alone may be terrifying and challenging for me.