I guess I don't understand the problem. You write that you never got along with your brother as children, and you tolerated him suddenly reaching out to you as adults. It sounds like you just don't like your brother but feel conflicted by the familial role expectation that since you are siblings you should remain in contact?

I do know that it is hard to accept that you have a brother that doesn't like or love you. My own brother doesn't like or love me. It's been about ten years and I don't even know his children. He tried to use other family members to test to see if I was open for a reconciliation but I told them flat out, no, I wasn't open to every speaking to my brother again. He's toxic to my well-being, so he has to stay out of my life forever.

If you don't feel like your brother contributes anything meaningful to your life, then why bother worrying about holidays and birthdays? If you believe that your brother only reached out friendly to you, to use you somehow, then why reconcile with him?