Like a self sabotaging way? Self handicapping? People do that because they are afraid of failure.

I enjoy feeling sad but I don't enjoy self destructive behaviour or making irrational/illogical problems for myself that get me no where. I only self destruct because I say "**** it. This is hopeless" and give in to the void because I'm too tired to keep going" or;

If I'm chasing a good feeling either by: Using discipline to make myself feel bad so I can learn from it or if I know that it's going to get me somewhere by solving good problems or: I know it will be good in the moment but bad afterwards (Which I ignore).