Quote:
Originally Posted by comrademoomoo
He fell asleep? I can't wrap my head around how that could even happen. I mean, I believe you and I am not doubting that it happened. It is
such an extreme manifestation of withdrawal. And accompanied by dropping down to every other week.. I would be in pain and fury. I wonder how he will attempt to recover his supposed deep compassion and relational approach...
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Agree with this comment both in meaning and tone. I am so sorry this strong relationship is now in trouble, and that the trust you placed in the relational approach and the compassion is being called into question by out of character behavior.
I've been wanting to write about my experience that is kindred to Omers, but I am (?) spiritually depleted / zausted from the horribleness of the experience of my T melting down in a way , I think partly from being in his house without leaving for 90 days or something. He is phobic about Covid 19.
In general, there seems to be a massive increase in the T's having countertransference but not owning it like Omer's T, being unprofessional on calls and FaceTime/ tele therapy etc, doing things like falling asleep, doing their nails, lashing out, having family members nearby sessions etc.
Many T's I am sure are stepping up, staying present, and doing good work, but a bunch seem to be melting down.
I've come to think some T's are pretty fragile as humans when it comes to digging down deep to meet a crisis affecting everyone.
One of my best friends is an ER doc who goes to work in person despite being scared and deals heavily, and reveres the oath she took.
Meanwhile , a percentage ( hopefully small) of the T's are spending a ton of time shaming one another in T-only forums and groups for wanting to see clients in person, and trying to get A+'s in "Self Care" rather than patient/ client care.
Some T's have lost income ( and many of us too) and are spiraling. Mine is. Or rather I finally terminated ( for the second time, but he chased me to come back). The anguish therapy sparked for me over four intense years abated the minute I didn't have to face 2 90 minute sessions a week with someone I don't trust anymore.
I still believe in therapy, but I am really convinced that many T's are not trained to explore their countertransference so that it doesn't hurt vulnerable clients like in this thread. It may be the behind-the-scenes pressures affect them even more than most people, and remove some of their resources for self soothing and remaining centered?