Well, I don't know what your husband's intentions were, but it's very hurtful to say to a pregnant wife that they are unattractive. He should have known it would be hurtful. What a LOVING, ADORING husband should have said is "you are sooooo beautiful, pregnancy and all, and I love you sooooo much."

And I am not excusing my husband's comment away. He knew it would be hurtful. He knew exactly what he was doing. He intended for it to cause harm to me. This I am 100% certain about.

All of his actions show the same kind of hurtful intent. And I see it all very clearly now. His mean, cutting "jokes" that are put downs disguised as jokes. It's all meant to cut me down, put me down, insult me and hurt me. He IS abusive. Bottom line. And his behaviors all match those of an abuser. Abusers need to put down, insult and hurt their partners. That's what abuse is. This is not a TRULY loving relationship, and I see now that all his loving behaviors are all manipulative.

There's no way around it. And I am not going to explain away his behavior any more.