I made an emergency call to my therapist to see if we could talk today instead of tomorrow.

I need to cope with my relationship and manage it until I can announce that I am divorcing him. And I am NOT going to announce it until I am 100% ready to leave, meaning I have the money saved so I can move out ASAP. I am going to tell him then, and only then, when I am ready to move out.

But until then, I must play as an actor would and pretend everything is ok. Though I think he is sensing something is wrong. He keeps asking me nearly every day, "what's wrong" and "are you OK?"

Last night I was pissed off in general at him and could not really talk to him much. I am going to withdraw emotionally from him and distance myself.

I really want to talk to my therapist and like right now.