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Old Jun 16, 2020, 01:05 PM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,739
Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
Not as an ultimatum. Just as a suggestion. If things don’t work out and he ever says you don’t care about me or you didn’t fight for us, yes I did, I suggested therapy to help us through, I showed my care. You don’t have to leave if he says “no.”
I see your point, however, IF he says no, then I've presented issues to him that are bothering me in the marriage that then have ZERO resolution to them.

Then I am forced to carry on as normal, with all the issues hanging out in the open, and with ME carrying the weight of those issues.

He will ask, why do you want to go to therapy, and I will have to answer him.

The agreement was IF he blows up at me again, then we will go. So I will have to have reasons IF I bring it up NOW.

And IF I say, I am NOT happy in this relationship, there are several big issues here at play, and I feel that only a counselor can help us through these issues, and then he says NO? What am I left with?

Then I am forced to undergo a separation process within the apartment LONG before I am even ready or prepared to leave him for good. OR, I am forced to actually LEAVE HIM LONG before I have the money to do so.

I just don't see a good outcome from asking for that right now.
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