Hi, Kim, welcome to PsychCentral. My father-in-law lived in Dunedin and we use to visit him several times a year until he died so I know the area you live in well :-)

Sorry you're really struggling with self esteem. The acne might last; I still get outbreaks and I'm through menopause and 57! Eating well helps it some.

Do you like your job? I use to pick something I liked and build on that, use it for resting in and revolving around, etc. When I didn't like my job, for instance, I'd bring books and self-help projects from home and work them into my day; listen to audio tapes driving to work, etc.

Self esteem is hard. You have to catch yourself doing something you like/enjoy and praise and make friends with yourself and get a few independent, good experiences going. Then eventually you have more good experiences when you think of yourself than bad ones. If you can learn to joke with yourself about mistakes and stuff, that can help.