When I first woke up this morning, I checked my email. My husband spent hours last night booking a European vacation for September, and sent me all of the confirmations. Of course it's not sure we will be able to go then, depending on the covid 19 situation, but it is booked. He purchased an insurance that allows for changes, if needed. Later, when he woke up, we argued a bit about the itinerary. Such ambitious itineraries are severely stressful for me, and usually result in me becoming at least hypomanic, but too often full blown manic, sometimes with psychosis. The latter happened about two years ago during a trip to Portugal. That trip was only in Portugal, but involved a lot of travel within the country. This planned trip seems potentially more stressful yet, involving three countries, though hubby avoided the need for connecting flights (all but one), which are extra horrible for me. The booked trip includes:

- Non-stop Newark, NJ to Paris, France (2 days) then non-stop on to...

- Barcelona, Spain (8 days, including road trips to the Pyrenees and Languedoc areas of France) then non-stop on to...

- Prague, Czech Republic (8 days, including hubby at dentist, visits to various friends, and a couple days staying with his sister in the country) then non-stop back to...

- Paris then immediately non-stop to New York City (JFK), which is a different airport than we flew out of from the US. New York is not on our itinerary. It's just the return airport.

Just like with the Portugal trip, I asked hubby if we could skip going to a real estate agent (in this upcoming case, in France), but he argued with me to the point of us raising voices. A real estate agent would be the ultimate trigger. He agreed that if he wants to do that that he go and I stay in the hotel/B&B. Obviously, when the time comes that we may want to relocate to CZ or FR, I will join him at looking for real estate, but not so soon. Sadly, the above trip is not that exciting for me because it equals so much stress. The only new areas to visit are Barcelona in Spain and the nearby regions in France. I'll see the first days in Paris as somewhat recuperative. We need not do touristy stuff there since we've both been there many times. The Czech Republic stuff is also not really vacation-like. It's possible that if we are able to make the trip, there still may not be large public gatherings allowed (i.e. concerts). That would be a relief, plus we plan to only bring carry-on luggage, and therefore wash and wear the same three to four outfits.

My mood is in an odd place. It's between hypomanic and feeling very miserable. Perhaps a mixed state right now. I already feel my adrenaline rising this morning, but the argument didn't help. I've been taking the morning Seroquel XR again already for three days. I almost also took PRN Seroquel yesterday, but held off. I am 90% certain that my daily Seroquel XR dose will eventually reach 800 mg. Right now it's 700 mg, without a PRN. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week.

We have a Robin that seems to really like my hubby and me. We think it is either the mama Robin or one of her month old, plus, chicks that had a nest in our rose bush. They saw us every day because the rose bush was near our front door. We used to talk to them to prevent mama Robin from flying away. Anyway, a Robin hangs out near our deck, in the back, all of the time. When we're on the deck, which is often since the weather has been nice, Robin hops nearby and stares at us and we talk to it. Once I even called out "Where is the Robin?" and sure enough Robin showed up immediately (flew to the end of our fence and stared at us, holding a worm in its beak) and we talked to it then, too.